what do you do when your pants keep ripping between your legs?

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Are your balls big?

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Buy pants in your size.

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Slim down or change your gait.

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Try walking with your feet wide apart and your knees bent.

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Seriously, you might be wearing too tight pants.

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how to make patches:

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Grow up, boy, grow up, it's time for the girls.

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Insert a metal insert

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Gotta lose weight

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Drink activated charcoal so you don't throw up gas:

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See a surgeon or a tailor;

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lose weight and build muscle

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Get a shell or a skirt

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Wait for your time will pass while you're young. So wear a new pair of pants every now and then.

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Wear a skirt

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Buy bigger pants!

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Don't walk wide!

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Wear a kilt

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Stripes in fabric resistant to abrasion synthetics for sportswear or liposuction. The second option is not for the pants but for the wearer.

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You have a mate on your knees. Buy suspenders.